I went to my ex colleague wedding today. And got to meet some familiar faces. I was kinda in between whether or not to go. Well that's me having fear of some social interaction for some reason. At times, it gives you some anxieties that render your mind helpless to depressing episode. But I chose to go. And I managed to survive the experience. It was great, that I feel like it was my purpose to be there, though I no longer belong in their company. I thought I would've given myself up to some anxious experience, but everything went normal.
The night before, I had one terrible episode of depression. I woke up to the most terrible feeling I've possibly ever had. I woke up to the thoughts of wanting everything to end, to die. It was hard, dark that I got myself a sleep for another 2 hours before everything went better. It was probably caused by the chain of negative thoughts which occured few days before.
I think I am deciding what my purpose here while I am alive.. In the world where I can be anything, when there's only void of purpose, my purpose is to be somewhere.
