All blues

I don't know how am I doing now though. I scored top 10 for an hackaton I joined last week. The good feeling only last for a night. Now? Blues all over as if it doesn't matter?

I feel weak, clueless, not motivated. I haven't been jogged for a week i guess. Well, it's raining this morning, but what stops me later on the day?

Am I healing, or remain.

This is my last year. Year to find more reason, to keep on living. Am I working on bad pirates again? I don't feel motivated.

This chemical imbalance, is sickening. The mood keep swinging like shit. How the fuck will I live past 30 then. Nothing is encouraging. I only wait for the next important date, as if it's the only thing that matters. How do i feel happy, when there's no reason to be happy for. Are you living? am I living? At least I want to feel something. Feel important again, feel relevant.

I am not going to die being invalid.