Some days are just miserable. But certain days are just much better, and I am not that suicidal or thinking too much about this comfortable escape, A.K.A. ending life itself. The key lies in having something to look forward to, also known as Hope. And I was/am often struggling on how to reach that point.
Depression is a difficult, long and tiring battle. It is something else, something different. It can stagnate your life to certain point and you must first admit that there is depression happening/perpetuating within you. The next thing is not to identify yourself with such illness. It is far from invalidating yourself, but to disallow yourself from lingering too long in such passage. So another thing I figured out after Attachment and Validity is Perpetuality. It happens that our mind works almost the same as what Newton's first law is stating; an object will remain at rest or in uniform motion unless it's acted upon by an external force. It's this very nature of our mind that defines how major this illness is.
Today I feel a lot better. It's because I've something to look forward to. I am looking to buy a new motorcycle, watching new anime and getting a new job. Been hyping myself for a while for this. Everything they said about not worrying too much is true, but anxiety apart, when you're depressed you can't see the end of it. So the key is on knowing what to do when you're in such passage.
So I have a reminder for myself when I am going through depression.
- It will pass.
- Songs that attach you to things you currently hyped with. For eg. one piece OSTs.
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