I feel like my days are often filled with negative thoughts, about what people says, expect, and about what they want you to be. Other than that, i am just tired, weak, and i sleep so much for a day that I don't feel like living at all. I keep poisoning myself with things like 'he died', 'i am tired', 'i feel so useless', 'i feel nothing', 'i couldn't do much', over and over again. I tend to linger on those thoughts, and see no way to escape the stare of such abyss.
But sometimes it's just funny, that a simple twist like saying or thinking the opposite of those thoughts, my mood actually changed. I am happy, strong, I am living, I do not have regret, I am winning. I feel like I am discovering the secret to overcoming those demons, no matter how terrible their energy is.
Because eventually it'll all be over. I can only be happy and feel no regret. I'll just have to think the opposite, that's all. ;)
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